Clinics in Mother and Child Health

Child Rearing Practice in Islam

Tabasum Akther^* Department of Psychology, Psychology Govt. College for Women, Srinagar, Jammu & Kashmir, India
^*Correspondence: Dr. Tabasum Akther, Department of Psychology, Psychology Govt. College for Women, Srinagar, Jammu & Kashmir, India, Email:

Received: 16-Oct-2020 Published: 06-Nov-2020

Introduction

Islam prescribes an excellent system as well as methodology for the training and rectification of Allah Most High on them. This is in conformity with the command of Allah (Surah Tahriim). In outlining ‘ Child Rearing Practices and Islam Approach ‘ we can say that Islam Provides the guidelines on imparting religious discipline, character building, spiritual education, intellectual growth and physical instruction. It suggests ways to mould the child’s personality in the right direction morally, psychologically and socially. Islam presides the fundamental value of life. More importantly, it presides the goal of life or defines the Highest Good for man with a view to attaining honour, glory, nobility and eminence in multiple sphere of life [1].

In view of the same, from an Islamic point of view, child rearing and training should be taken up from very conception of a child. However, to begin with, the question arises as to why marriages are compulsory? The Prophet (pbuh) says,”Marriage is a Sunnah, remember whoever ignores my Suannah (way of life) has no relationship with me”. “For marriage select the best partner preferably a virgin”. Marriage according to Islam is a social necessity for the continuance of the human species, for the protection of lineage, for the protection from moral peace leading to the creation of a family, and cooperation between husband and wife in rearing a child.

Conception of a Child

The pious aspirations of a mother and father are enhanced through marriage. The look after their offspring, strive to fulfill their children’s needs, seek a contended life, which in results striving for a better future. These are important social benefits which are attained through marriage, which has a deep impact on bringing up to children, on family stability and on creating a congenial atmosphere [2].

From an Islamic point of view, at the very outset of pregnancy, foetus represents a potential life. From the very moment of conception, the child in due consideration, should be protected and given all the rights of human life. The baby is developing, feeling and moving long before the mother is aware of it at around the 16th week [3]. It is certainly the case that a foetus has developed enough to be regarded as fully human by the sixth week, when it sensory and motor nerves are functioning, and it reacts to painful stimuli. When forty-two nights gave passed over that which is conceived, Allah sends an angel to it, who shapes it, makes it’s ears, eyes, skin, flesh and bones. Thereafter, the angelsay’s, “Oh Lord is it male or female and your Lord decides what he wishes and the angel’s record it”.

So, from the day of conception the mother should feel good and the environment where she lives should be sound. The loving relationship between the members may develop the healthy atmosphere so that the positive effect may be on new arrival. As it has been proved by science that a pregnant mother takes both positive as well as negative effects on a new arrival that is in the womb of the mother. Drugs, smoking, alcohol or other harmful drinks are injurious to both the mother and child [4]. In Islam child rearing practice starts before the birth of a child. Anything which harms others or one’s self is not recommended in Islam. Rather, what is strongly underlined is purification of one’s own self and of others around us.

On the birth of a child congratulating a Muslim brother add’s to his happiness. This creates an atmosphere of love and mutuality among families. When a child is born congratulation should be conveyed thus, “The child that Allah Most High has granted you, may grant you ‘barkah’ and grant you ‘taufiq’ to express ‘ shukar’. May the child grow up to be pious and gain a long life with sound health” [5].

Soon after the birth if the child Adhann should be said in the right ear, and the Iqamah in the left ear. Haafiz Ibn Qayyim has written that the significance of saying the adhaan and the Iqamah in the ears of a child is that such words declare the greatness and majesty of Allah. The kalimah shah-Haadah must be recited, which is the means of entering the fold of Islam. In other words, this is prompting the creed of Islam. Besides, at the sound of adhaan and iqaamah, Satan distances himself from the child and we orientate the child that life is too short, its duration is an long as in between Iqmah and Nimaz (Salah). At this early age, the child is thus invited to Allah the Majestic, to Islam and to the worship of Allah from the beginning. An invitation towards Allah is given before Satan gives his invitation. The child’s aqidah and iman are also guarded. The child is directed towards Allah and disoriented from Satan.

After the adhaan, there is the Muslim practice of chewing and softening a date and putting a little of it on the palate of the child or anything sweet like honey or sugar [6]. Thereby Sunnah is fulfilled and the veins and muscles are imparted an atom of strength. The dental palate, the jaws and the mouth are made active thereof. As a result, we prepare the child to suck milk from the breast of the mother.

Next comes Aqeeqah, the Arabic word meaning to “cut”. In the terminology of Shariah, it is sacrifice of a goat for the child. On the seventh day, after the birth one goat on behalf of a female child and two goats for the male child may be sacrificed. The wisdom behind the legitimacy of Aqeeqah is to obtain nearness to Allah and offer ransom for the child. The child later intercedes for its parents. The parents find the fulfillment of the obligation under Sharia to be a source of happiness [7]. Islamic way is to shave off the hair if the infant on the seventh day. Shaving the hair of the head provides the child with strength and opens up the pores of the skin. It is also beneficial to the child’s eyesight, hearing and sense of smell.

The emphasis is given on naming the child to distinguish him or her from others and to call him or her by his or her names. Islam is a complete faith. It recognizes the importance of naming a child. When naming their children parents must ensure that the name they select signifies servitude to Allah alone and not to any false deity. Islam envisages Muslims as a people of remarkable attributes. When parents select a vulgar or a romantic name, they risk ruining the character and soul of the child [8].

The most important thing a parent can do for a child is to set a good example, so that the child grows up devout, kind, independent and able to help others. They should give the child the best possible education not just to be clever but to be responsible and independent. The children must be treated with utmost kindness. Abu Hurarah (RA) has recorded, “He who does not show mercy (towards his children) any mercy will be shown to him”.

Parents as Models

Children identify with parents. Identification is a process in which a child feels ‘one with another person and internalizes the thoughts, beliefs and actions of that person. In that sense parents act as models that demonstrate behaviour-patterns which children like to follow? Sometimes parents are responsible for their children’s misbehaviour. Child psychologists are of the view that ill-treatment towards a child has an adverse effect on him or her. Parents must not beat and scold them or belittle them repeatedly. If a child is humiliated and teased or taunted habitually, this will reflect in his or her behaviour and manners. The child’s mind will be clouded with fear and anxiety. An atmosphere of unkindness, ill-treatment and apathy or even carelessness can lead to radically unacceptable deviant behaviour-patterns amongst children. They can get drastically disobedient. They can run away from home. The child may become a delinquent or criminal. The stress, anxiety and depression thereof may lead to suicide on the part of the child [9]. Inthe holy Quran, Muslims have been asked to control their anger, pardon others, and overlook their shortcomings. There are numerous verses of the Quran and a number of the traditions of the Prophet which urge Muslims to be tolerant and patient.

The main causes of straying and defiance among children are evil and indecent companions. Their unprincipled influence becomes all the more marked when a child idealises his or her friends and imitates them in their actions. It then becomes difficult to bring the child back on to the righteous path. This is why we are directed to supervise our children. Particularly we must keep an eye on their manners, their company and their friends. We must seek noble friends for them from whom they may learn good manners and also perhaps imitate them. The Quran has directed us to avoid evil company.

The children need supervision to improve their physical, mental, social personalities, they need guidance and reformation. This is the responsibility of the parents to rear a child a accordance with true beliefs and good values.

It is a duty of the parents to mould their children according to Islamic social norms. An excellent social upbringing rests on three factors: (a) respect for the rights of others, (b) attending to overall social etiquette and (c) fulfilling duties towards the community. When parents are fully equipped with knowledge they will be able to rear their child in the light of Islamic teachings.

Since it is necessary for a Muslim family to preserve the honour and glory of its ‘Din’, it is binding on a parent to protect their family and home from an unhealthy atmosphere, inculcate in them the habit of reading books and magazines pertaining to achievements of Muslim leaders and about life and works of righteous people. Parents must mind the age and intelligence level of their children were selecting books for them.

The prophet of Islam has asked parents to be role models for their children. A child’s character and moral up-bringing will suffer when he/she perceives the difference between sayings and doings of his/her parents. This will cause a difficulty situation for the child, having to pack one of the two conflicting situations. The highest pedagogical and psychological principle of child – rearing is the parental care and concern for the moral up gradation of their children’s. The parents have to teach their child the Islamic Shariiah, the divine dictates or commandments, and the principles and methods of Islam with a view to help cultivating the child’s personality.

These principle are clear and self-explanatory and it is very easy to apply them. The children need to be taught the fundamental principles and values of Islam so that they grow up to be balanced, pious and upright humans. This is the method shown by Islam from bringing up children and for guiding them on the right path. The Prophet (pbuh) has deemed both parents to be responsible for the religious and ethical training of their children (Bukhaari, Muslim, Tirimidhi). The Quran states that wealth or riches, children or power nothing whatsoever will aid believers on the Day of Judgement. Only a pure heart and good deeds will help you in the attainment of success.

When children reach the age of seven, we are asked to command them to the offer the Salaah and when they are ten years old, punish them if they do not perform the Salaah. Tell them the stories of Prophet. Make them strong believers by imparting to the stories full of morals and lessons. A strong believer is dearer to Allah then a feeble one (Muslim). Keep these Islamic rules in mind and train your children to be devoted and strong scholars of religion. Let them not be divergent, ill-mannered or defiant.

Some child psychologists opine that there is an inherent tendency in children to believe in the unity of Allah. Children are disposed towards purity and cleanliness and are averse to evil. If one attains good training, find a pure environment, and has righteous companions, one can turn out to be strong in religious faith with excellent morals. The children’s need to be directed and oriented by their parents to contemplate on Allah, signs of His miraculous power and on the creation of the heavens, and earth. In this way, they will support their convictions by argument and reasoning.

Conclusion

The Quran has declared repeatedly that we adopt the method of gradual training from the low to the high, from the perceived to the unperceived, so that the individual grasps the real nature of things.

Parents must encourage children be develop a sense of humility before Allah to fear Him, and to serve Him. Let children be conscious of the fact that Allah is ever watchful. He knows the apparent and the hidden, the mischief of the eye and the secrets of the heart. Whatever one does, let it be done in sincerity to Please Allah. This is what he has commanded. It is the foremost duty of Muslim community across the globe to orient the children to Islamic worldview and value-system. In the final analysis, only such an orientation or direction can educate children on righteous lines and make human society, on the global scale, a thing of beauty and a joy for us all.

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